There's a lot of things that can get you fired from your job. Showing up late, embezzling funds, sleeping when you should be working. But there is nothing worse than being fired from your job because you are too hot. In some cases, being too hot is good for your career. Like if you're a Victoria's Secret model. But otherwise, it's just a pain. Ask Lauren Odes, who was fired from her data entry job because, she says, her employers told her her body was "too racy" and suggested she wrap a "red bathrobe" over her clothing. But nothing could cover up her sexy and she was canned anyway.
Odes says her employers told her: "You are just too hot for this office." Tell me about it, sistah.
Odes is not the only woman to have her Helen of Troy-ness put a crimp in her career. Two years ago, banker Debrahlee Lorenzana claimed she was fired from Citigroup because she too was smoking for the office. And British writer Samantha Brick has infamously detailed her poor treatment at the hands of female supervisors who were jealous of her stupendous beauty.
If I had a dime for every time an employer said to me, "Can you work late?" when what he or she really meant was, "You are so jaw-droppingly, lip-smackingly beautiful that you need to work late so I can merely stare at you some more," I would be filthy rich!
I got so tired of being oppressed and victimized because of my astounding hotness that, in fact, I began working from home more. This has, unfortunately, only succeeded in encouraging my neighbors to buy telescopes in order to gawk at me while I type. I even bought a red robe to wear over my cardigan sweater, my jogging suit and my winter coat, but you can't cover up this sexy! You know the feeling, Lauren.
Beauty is not a protected class, but should it be? There are studies that say that beauty only helps you on the job, that better looking people have higher salaries and get the job more often. But maybe you only get the job so that you can then be fired, know what I'm saying, L.O.?
Anyway, those studies are probably talking about your hotish-8-on-a-scale-of-10. These studies don't take into account the blindingly gorgeous, traffic-stopping hotness of someone like Lauren Odes. Only those of us cursed with this level of sizzling can't-cover-it-up sexy will ever truly know how difficult it is to be a goddess stuck in an office of uglies.
Have you ever been fired for being too beautiful?
Image via New York Daily News/5min